dearly missed  / Scott Scherquist (friend)
Our school had their winter showcase, and it made me think of you and all your help and guidance. Diana and I truly miss you.
Sending you all the light and love we can,
Scott and Diana Close

True Inspiration  / Sheila Zabala (Friend)
Just a few moments ago, I decided to browse through my scrapbook that has been given to me for my 18th birthday, which has been filled, decorated and presented to me with so much love from people who I've been truly blessed to have known.  I've been looking for some sort of a muse, any sort of motivation, that would help me get out of this life block that has seemed to have slowed me down.  A period where I felt like I lost sight of what I wanted for the future, what I wanted to achieve. 

My heart felt as if it began to clench tightly as I came across a page that Jenny has made for me, marked as "Words of Wisdom."  It was passage from a Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

It was as if Jenny or God has led me to read this, because It was what I needed to know, and what I needed to feel at that very moment.  My insecurities and my fears are exactly what was stated in that passage; inadequacy. insecurity.

The following pages showed just how much Jenny cared about my dreams, my goals.  Even if they aren't the same as they were 2 years ago.  It showed just the type of person Jenny was.  It showed that Jenny was such an inspiration to myself, and to many other people.  She was a believer, your number one fan. 

Every moment that I was so blessed to have spent with Jenny, she made me feel that I was much more than I thought I was, and I was capable of extraordinary things.  She has this unbelievable ability to make you smile and laugh with incredible ease.  Jenny was one of the strongest people I've ever met & makes me want to become a better person. 

I just want to thank her for everything.  For blessing my family members and everyone else she has touched with her love, laughter, care, and support & of course, for myself as well.

Marianne Williamson was right, "We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us." Jenny is a great example of this. 

I love you, Miss Jenny.
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Justus' cheese buddy and more  / Lisa Zabala (friend)
What to say about Jenny?  She was funny.  She was sweet.  She was a good friend.  And how about her contagious laugh? 

I met her through my sister, Jeannie, and then got to know her more and got closer to her as she came to visit my sister.   While she waited for my sister to get ready, she would come up to my place and say "Entertain me!".  I will always remember that mischievious smile she would put on as we gossiped a bit! 

She was a good friend.  I'd call her to ask her a question or advice. Not only would she answer, but would go out of her way to find out more to help me more. 

But what really endeared her to me was how she loved my kids.  She would come by and bring them little presents ( candy) - even for my then 1 year old!  Once she brought him a ring pop - which I still have.   She was my older son's "Cheese buddy".   I remember her sitting in the car sharing a block of cheddar cheese with my son. Every now and then, when my son thinks of her, he'll tell me sadly that he no longer has a "cheese buddy".

When I think of Jenny, I will always remember the goofy things she did fondly ( like when she tried to place my infant son in a rocking chair by himself).  We all love her and we miss her, but we know that one day we will see her up in heaven. Close

One of a Kind Person!  / JoAnn Delio-Browne (Friend, who lost touch )
I meet Jenny in high school - the Astoria girls & Brooklyn girls got along very well. She was an incredible person! She was always there for her friends, beyond loyal, always made you smile and willing to do anything. We lost touch, not on purpose, just due to life and the paths taken. I'm so glad and proud of the woman she had become and that she followed her dreams and did the magic that only she could have done. 
I just found out yesterday of her passing and as I'm typing this, the tears can not stop. Even though I wish we had kept in touch, I'm so proud and beyond happy to have known her, have memories and when I think of her behind the tears will always be the smile that she brought to my face. 
Jenny Nacinovic - "You use to love to make me cry" ...... and, "Don't ever leave me, say you'll always be there, all I ever wanted was for you to know that I care".... 
My deepest condolences and love go to Jenny's family. Your daughter was loved throughout her lifetime, throughout all the people that had to pleasure to meet Jenny. 
You have always been in my thoughts & heart! Love you, JoAnn (BB) Close

Missing You More  / Silvana

Many days am in a state of limbo, not knowing where you are or how I can reach you.  I saddens me so much.  Life took such a twisted spin for all of us. I hope you are somewhere safe with the rest of our heavenly family, and I hope that one day soon we shall all be together again.  I want to see you today.  You were taken away from us much too soon, and at the prime of your life.  Just when you had the time and freedom from completing your Masters Degree, you were taken from us, like a strike of lightning.  Very unfair, after you worked so hard to accomplish all the goals you set for yourself.  You were always tough on yourself.  Nobody else expected of you, except you, and you did it.  God loves you for that, and we are all proud of you.  We all miss you here.  We are all dealing with our emotions as best we can, but it is difficult, struggling each day to forget, but memories never leave, good or bad.  We all try to help each other and remember the good.  Just know that we miss you and love you.  Please send us a sign, and tell us you are ok.  All our love, ma, pa, Tommy, Arturo.

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Valentine's Day 2007  / Art (Boyfriend)

My Dear Jenny:

I dreamt of you this morning. You were amongst friends, smiling, laughing, but mostly quiet and pensive. Like a person who has seen much and gained wisdom, you were incredibly self assured, but mostly in the role of observer.

It seemed warm out, with an abundance of greenery. We were on a meadow, many people were there, whom I did not know, but somehow felt familiar with them.

I tried to get close to you, to get you to notice me, but you seemed a bit aloof. My attempts to gain your attention did not work. You weren’t oblivious of me, but not elated, as I had hoped you would be. I tried to rouse you as best as I could, by playfully annoying you and saying what I remembered would always provoke a response from you.

Finally you turned to me, you gave me an endearing look, then smiled, and with that the dream came to an end.

I was left with the feeling of urgency that I should call you, or stop by your home to see you. In my mind it had been awhile since we had spoken, and something was telling me that you were sad that I had not called on you.

I wanted to awaken as quickly as I could, content with the idea that I would get up, call you to tell you I loved you and to say that I was sorry that I had neglected you for some time.

As I awoke I was disheartened to find that you are no longer here, at least not in the way we are. I was saddened, disillusioned, yet strangely content that for 15 seconds of my conscious state, I was under the firm belief that you were home, closer than I had thought.

It has been sometime now Jenny, and I want you to know how much I miss you, how much I still love you. Most of us have made our “adjustments” to what has happened, yet we still have an empty place in our hearts, that will never be the same, not until we see you again.

I think about you every day, at times I miss you more than others. You have left me on an odyssey, a trek I wish I had had the courage to undertake while you were here. You have taught me to love the life we were given, to be there for those who matter, to help those who we can.

There are still those times I feel you next to me, and when they come, there is a stillness, a quietness and peace. There have been times I have told others that you are walking alongside of me.

Then there are moments I feel you very far away, and in those times I envision you helping, giving, loving others in ways our earthly minds cannot conceive at this point in time.

Please remember how I feel about you. Falling in love is something I imagine may happen for me again, for it is part of what life is I know, yet it will never be quite the same. It will be less. This does not sadden me, for it tells me that a piece of my heart will belong to you for all of eternity.

If there is one thing I know from everything that has happened (and every fiber of my being tells me so), is that I will see you again one day.

Happy Valentine’s Day My Love.

Arturo

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You are missed  / Katrina Lykes (friend/Q.C. classmate )
Jenny, 
Just the other day I was remembering hanging out with you in the atrium during lunch, discussing our future plans. I figured you where either going to star in a one-woman show off-Broadway or were going to be one kick-ass teacher. I am so sorry to hear that you were taken from us, but happy to see that you were able to touch so many lives, especially as a teacher. 
Your encouragement of my singing career meant a lot to me, especially to an 18 y.o. freshman. I will never forget your great, sassy attitude, your laughter or your fabulous rendition of "Take Me or Leave Me" at the student concert. Your voice and smile live on in the lives of your family, friends and students. God Bless you.

Love,

Katrina Close

God Bless Jenny  / Andrew D. (Friend of ART )
I didn't have the pleasure of meeting Jenny but am a friend of Art's and wish to offer my condolences and am very sorry for the loss of what sounds like a loving and careing woman God Bless Jenny Close

Your #1 Fan  / Jayme Perez (Student)

To Ms Nacinovic:

The purpose of this letter is to thank you. You are a great music teacher, and your show last night was great too!

I don't think you really understand what you've done for me. You taught me courage, confidence and mostly not to care about who else is around when I'am doing my thing.

Even though I went up there nervous and queasy, I sang my song. It was the supportive smile that you gave me (before I began) that kept me standing there in front of all those people.

Thank you Ms. N. for giving me my "One Moment In Time". Hopefully that was just the first of many more.

Love,
Your #1 Fan,
Jayme Perez

P.S. There is more to come for you than just this letter.

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My Double L  / Jeannie Rodriguez (Best Friend )

How do I put in a few words what Jenny meant to me in my life?  Jenny, or my Yenni as I used to call her,  was not only my best friend, but she was my sister, my mother, my advisor, my mentor, my therapist, my confidant...simply put she was my double L. 

We met in Grad school at Hunter, and we got along immediately, but it wasn't until our first encounter with this shi-shi fru fru that we really hit it off.  From then on we giggled a lot, and caused trouble, in and out of class.  But then as Jen used to say "life comes into play"  and we lost touch with one another.  

Out of the blue a couple of years later, just when I needed someone the most, she calls me and tells me that she wants to reconnect with people.  I knew then that God sent her to me.  We were going through some similar situations at the time and we suppported each other through it.  From then on, it was Jeannie and Jenny, Jenny and Jeannie, and we soon became known as double L's.  

We spent a lot of our time shopping, planning for work, just bumming around.  But I think most of our time was spent around cups of coffee (or moccachinos at Cafe Bar).  She'd have 1 and I'd have four, and our conversation would last forever.    From deep issues, to our next RNT, to our new signals for one another.  We would just sit and "bullshit."  She was always there when I needed her.  But I miss her the most when I think about when she was there when I didn't really need her.  I miss when we'd walk out in the street and she'd yell YP, or CO and only I (and a select few) knew what that meant.  Or when we'd go to a store and she'd start talking to strangers about me as if I wasn't there.  Or when she'd just suddenly stop what she was doing to ami.  Sometimes, she'd hear a song she liked, start singing, and just wouldn't talk to you until it was done. 

I miss her so much, and it's only now that I can allow myself to really think about it.  It took me a long time to write this because everytime I would start, I just couldn't get myself to finish.  I kept her at a distance because I couldn't bear the pain that the thoughts would give me.  I felt like I had lost a part of me.  But I feel her now.  And I feel her telling me that everything will be ok, and that I can do this.  She was always my number one fan.

Jenny was truly an amazing being.  A friendship like ours is so rare.  I was truly blessed to have had her in my life. 

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Perhaps Love....  / Silvana Werner (sister)

Perhaps Love...........
When you are most alone,
the memory of love will bring you home,
and even if you lose yourself,
and don't know what to do,
the memory of love will see you through.
If I should live forever,
and all my dreams come true,
my memories of love will be of you...
......love, your sister Silvana
            [copywright John Denver]

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Sharing Thoughts!  / Sonny (I never knew her. )
Death is a very sad thing, and matters little if I knew Jenny or not. I still feel compassion. I shall never get use to death....here one day, and gone the next.

The smile that wins, the tints that glow'
but tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below'
A heart whose love was innocent.

Someone somewhere must be thinking.
Say I'm weary, say I'm sad
Say that health and wealth have miss'd me,
say I'm growing old, but add,
Jenny kiss'd me. Close

I MISS YOU! I MISS YOU! I MISS YOU!  / Jenny Figaro (Friend)
My Jenny,

I miss you so much!!!!, I know you know that. Everytime I look  around I find a card you sent me, emailes that I saved, and assingments we did together in school.

When the school year  first started, at about 2:30 I use to look at my phone expecting you to call. I would tell you about the insanity at my job and you would tell me a joke and I would laugh and move on. The job is still crazy but I don't have you to make me laugh anymore. Your not being here hurts more than I can ever express in words.

I am glad that we became friends and I will treasure you in my heart always, remerbering all our good times, laughs, secret hand signs, and most importantly our "vision".

Rest in Peace ! One day I hope to see you again, in Heaven!!!

Love,
Jenny Close

thank you  / Mimi Nalavany (spiritual friend )
Dear Jenny, you left a song in my brother's heart, thank you. Close

Sisters / Silvana Werner (sister)
Sisters...
More than friends,
woven from the same fabric,
each having a unique pattern.
It is our common thread which weaves
our lives, together by a bond, that will
never be broken....Jenny & Silvana Close

My sweet cousin Jenny  / Anna Maria Mikus (cousin)
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.  Others stay awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same....you've touched my heart in so many ways.  I know you are in heaven with my mother....love, your cousin Anna Maria Close

Music Mayden  / Tommy Werner (brother in law )
Jenny,

I am still in shock at your passing, and can't quite understand any of it.  Emotions in your family are strong, and pray that time may heal their pain. Your sister and I had so many plans for the future - - for all of us to grow old together as one big family, but our time was cut short.  Much has changed now.  Things are very different, and we will have to adjust.  It will be difficult, but we feel you around us, guiding us step by step.  We will listen and look for you.  We will watch over your mama and papa.

 I hope that Jenny inspires many, as she sits above and watches over us.  A beautiful soul, gone too soon.  Your courage and strength has been an inspiration to all your family and friends.  May the sun shine on your face with that beautiful smile and the shadows fall behind.

May God bless you and take care of you.
.............You will always be our  "Music Mayden"..........Tommy Close

My Angel  / Silvana Werner (sister)
An Angel died on earth this day,
her sould is now at rest,
for she can look God in the eye,
and say "I truly did my best".

May we hope when our time comes,
we can say the same,
and when he asks us who it was
who gave us inspiration,
we can give her name.............Jenny Close

My Dearest Jenny  / Art (Boyfriend)

Dearest Jenny:

So another week has gone and you're not here. Hard to believe this is the way it will be from now on. After 6 years, of being with you, I miss my friend the most.

Life tells us we need to move on, yet I'm resistant. I was not ready to say goodbye. I still need to see you, hold you, and hear you tell me about your day. I still need the laughter, and the love you gave me like no one else. From you I had more than love, it was a form of adoration I never felt deserving of.

You helped me through some really bad times when I wanted to give up on my life. You guided me with caring, to a place you had arrived and wanted me to be. I once asked you why and you said "because I know what it's like to be left alone". I never asked what that really meant, yet I could see the reason in your eyes when you said it, and it frightened me. Some things are better left unsaid.

I don't understand why this had to happen, yet I cannot give up on God. He has been too good to me (He brought me you didn't He)? They say I must have Faith. Although this lesson is very difficult, I cannot let it go, for if I do, I will be truly lost, in a way I've never been before,  and I cannot afford to do this to myself, especially without you here.

So the days will pass, the seasons, the people in our lives, and the things we do. We are told we need to let go, to move on, to have courage to continue with our lives. To remember you with sorrow and to lessen the pain. These are all words to me still, perhaps someday I will learn to live them. For now I' am still back in this past summer, where it seemed like we finally arrived where we both longed to be: with each other forever, with a plan to proceed with a life for each other.

I will never forget you Jenny, and it will be difficult letting go. You forged a mark on my soul, and no one has ever done that. I do not want to let go but I don't want to hinder your destination, wherever that may be. I still feel you at times, whenever I get a momentary surge of unexplained warmth and happiness. You've given me some signs, and I know it is you.

I wonder how you are feeling where you are. Mostly I pray you're not afraid, or sad. I hope you're happiness and beautiful persona are on full display, for I have a suspicion you were summoned for a greater cause.

There are things we wish for and desire, and nothing means more to me that the hope that someday we may be able to share with each other again.

Until that day I will never forget the hope you brought to me. I will never forget you.

I left you a message shortly before I saw you last, and I will repeat it here:

Please wait for me.

Tu Novio y Querido,

Arturo

 

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My favorite time with Jenny...  / Ernest Buckley (Friend/Producer)
I met Jenny at Queens College. We became immediate friends. She was so easy to talk to. And as everyone knows, she had such a sense of humor. I always found myself laughing and smiling when I was around her.

Jenny called me almost three years ago, asking if I could help her with her songwriting and if I could produce her. I shared with her that I did not think of myself as a "songwriting teacher" but I would definitely help her with her songs and produce her. She insisted that I listen to her stuff and help her "mold it". So began our songwriting sessions.

We only got together about 3-4 times but those times were very special to me and I think they were for her too. She would come to my studio, I would put on some coffee and she would play and sing her songs for me and then ask me what I thought. She would then share with me her ideas. Those were the best times I had with Jen. Sitting with her, listening to her thoughts come across in her music...

I was honored that she allowed me into her world of music. I was honored that she thought enough of me to trust me with her music.

As a singer-songwriter I understand how difficult it is to let other people hear your music and read your thoughts/lyrics on paper. She had trust in me and that was the most important part of our relationship.

Today I sit here writing these words but I do wish I had the opportunity to tell her before she went her way. It means so much to me knowing she trusted and respected me to seek my help.

The last time we met, she gave me a bag of coffee that she purchased for me in Hawaii. Again, I was honored that she would think of me while on vacation. To many its just a bag of coffee but we always drank coffee when we were together and we always made music so the gift was very special.

The last time I saw her, I gave her two things: a tape of Wayne Dyer as well as a CD of some songs that were going on my first album entitled "Be Your Own". I told her to give my songs a listen and let me know what she thought of them.

She called me up about a week later. She was so excited she was practically yelling over the phone with, "I love this song In An End, A Beginning! I listen to it every morning on my way to school and it pumps me up."

The day that I found out about Jens passing I had a performance in which I sang her favorite song of mine, "In An End, A Beginning" and I dedicated it to her that evening. Every time I sing that song I will think of Jenny and smile knowing she is there with me on stage in the music.

I would like to raise a cup of coffee to her and share this song with you. Thank you Jen. Rest in peace my friend and may angels take you where you need to...

In An End, A Beginning
Words and Music by Ernest Buckley
Copyright 2005

If you stand or should you fall
If you lose or keep your way
If you shout or keep control
If you ever question fate
Don`t let it break you

Should fortune cross your path
And bliss remain in season
Should peace fulfill your days
And children give you meaning
Don`t let it change you

Chorus:
Love till it hurts
Give till it returns
Listen to your heart
Only speak from your soul
If you look you may not find
So close your eyes
To find your freedom
Live with random acts of kindness
And senseless acts of beauty

Friends and enemies you`ll make
Yet all we need forgiveness
This is how the game is played
What it means it what you give
So don`t forget this (chorus)

May the wind be at your back
May the low road rise to meet you
May angels take your hand
And take you where you need to
Take you where you need to (chorus)

www.ernestbuckley.com

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